A recent youtube thing that's gone around is a voicemail from a young woman who was asked to leave a movie theater because she was texting. She complained repeatedly that the staff had not been polite to her, all while cursing at whomever it was she imagined as listening to her message. It seemed clear that this young woman could only see the offense done to her, and had no ability to see where she, herself, had fallen very short of the standard she was expecting from those around her.
This is a double standard I see/hear about online a lot. People rant about how rude someone is for pointing out to them when they're being rude and asking or expecting them to cease their rude behavior.
Being polite isn't something that only applies to everyone else. It isn't a standard that only other people should strive for. It's so easy for us to only see how someone else is acting around us, but we can prevent a lot of stress by looking at how our own behavior might be the actual source for the rudeness we see in the world. If we consider that we might be the one who was rude first. That our behavior might not be as polite as we want to pretend it is.
Of course, we can't do that until we stop denying that we are being rude. Sometimes this can be difficult. Some of us don't like the be "to blame" for things. We will engage in some complex contortions of justification to avoid being responsible for the behavior that has been construed as rude or inappropriate. The most common reaction when called out for this sort of misbehavior is to accuse the person pointing it out of being rude. It's a deflection, an attempt to dodge the reality of being caught "misbehaving" and it's an immature response to an unpleasant situation. This is why a child will often lie about having been the one to break a lamp when they're standing there holding the pieces and they're the only person who was around in the first place.
It is a sign of maturity to be able to accept when you've behaved in a less than appropriate or preferred way (even if it was done unknowingly), and to respond politely when someone points this out to you. Especially so if you apologize and cease the behavior. Perhaps for some people, part of the reason they respond so negatively to being called out is because they aren't behaving that way unknowingly, they're just hoping to get away with it.
The thing is, we're all citizens of this world. We have to live with each other (unless, of course, you happen to be a hermit living in a cabin in the isolated woods reading my words via satellite or the local 3G network). If we want the world to be a better place, if we want it to be less rude, we need to look at ourselves first. Our own behavior is the only variable in this complex formula of human interaction that we're able to have a modicum of control over. For our own sake, and for the sakes of those around us, we should work harder on maintaining that control.
Of course I'm not saying "don't ever do anything fun" or "never dance to your own drum". That's not what this is about. It's about showing other people around you some basic courtesy because it's the mature thing to do, and it makes things better for everyone, including you.
